Guilt and shame
Many ADHD’ers feel intense guilt and shame over their symptoms. Growing up with this condition can be difficult. Many children with ADHD grow up hearing more negative comments than those without the condition. This negative feedback can become internalized and turn into guilt and shame. Many believe that they should be able to control their ADHD struggles just by sheer will.
ADHD is not a personal flaw
Many people are not aware of ADHD and its challenges. Symptoms like trouble regulating attention, forgetfulness, or disorganization can look like personal flaws. For example, someone who struggles to keep their house clean might be labeled as lazy. A person with ADHD who struggles to finish overwhelming or tedious tasks might be labeled as the one who doesn’t care. The truth is, our ADHD struggles have little to do with care or laziness and more to do with our executive function struggles.
The lack of accommodations
Many ADHD’ers are told to “just try harder” instead of given proper accommodations. It can be extremely harmful. Not giving a person with ADHD reasonable accommodations can significantly affect work performance, stress levels, and the individual’s wellbeing. Accommodations don’t give someone with ADHD an advantage; they level the playing field.
Misdiagnosis in girls/women/AFAB
ADHD can often mimic anxiety or depression. Untreated ADHD can also make these conditions develop. It’s essential to recognize the main issue (in this case, ADHD) to treat these comorbid conditions. I know many people, including myself, who went through depression or anxiety treatment to find ADHD hiding behind it.
ADHD is overwhelming, exhausting & stressful
ADHD can be tough on your mental health. It’s important to give yourself self-compassion and understanding. Develop strategies that help you and work together with your brain rather than working against it. Many neurotypical strategies and advice might not work for you, and that’s fine. It’s important to be aware of ADHD and its struggles to be able to thrive with it.
It doesn't affect just children
There’s an old belief that only children can have ADHD, and adults simply grow out of it. However, this is far from the truth. Some children can display fewer ADHD symptoms when they become adults because they’ve been taught coping strategies and received proper accommodations to overcome their challenges. However, many adults still struggle with the condition or only get diagnosed in their 20s, 30s, or even 60s.
It's not a case of bad parenting
Repeat after me: “the lack of structure, diet, or discipline does not cause ADHD.” Many parents get judged for their parenting skills or receive unwanted advice, which might be hurtful or frustrating. Parenting has nothing to do with the existence of ADHD.
Resources and community can make a positive impact
ADHD can feel so lonely sometimes. Finding a group of people who relate to you can do wonders! We can learn from each other, support and celebrate each other, and share helpful resources. Knowing what causes your struggles is an incredible opportunity to find not only the answers but also your community.
